My Miscarriage Story: Secondary infertility

In June 2019 I found out I was pregnant with our surprise baby, due to baby being a surprise I booked an early scan for what I assumed was around 7 weeks. At the scan they saw two healthy babies to my surprise, unfortunately two weeks later it was discovered only one baby had a heartbeat and that the other had passed. Fast forward to 29th February 2020 I had a beautiful baby boy called “Lachlan-John”. When the midwife came to do the post-natal checks and asked about birth control I just laughed and said id be having one hundred babies if I could.

Then in July 2020 I got my first positive, my clear blue test said 1-2 weeks and first response I got two pink lines! Then a week or so later I started bleeding and I called the GP who said it must have been “false Positives”. That was the end of that.

Again in September the same thing happened. I was told they were “False positives”.

Now in November 2020 I got more positives, this time I booked an appointment with the midwife and was all set for this pregnancy after about 16 pregnancy tests. I kept it quiet over Christmas but told a few close friends and family who were thrilled. Sadly at 8 weeks pregnant on the evening of the 27th of December I started bleeding. I went into the Early pregnancy unit at AMH who confirmed I was having a miscarriage. Seeing our sweet baby with no heartbeat was awful and due to my husband working I was there alone. I decided just to miscarry naturally at home. The cramps/ contractions started and we had our little Baby Robin at home. After this we decided to put a hold on trying, as it was all a lot to take in.

Then February rolls around and two weeks before my baby boys birthday: Two pink lines. Here we go again. This time felt different, I was slightly sick, my boobs had grown, I was exhausted all day and I was very grumpy. Then at work one evening at 7 weeks I had started to bleed, I knew it. After phoning the EPU I was booked in for a scan 5 days later. The longest 5 days of my life. We arrived at our scan very nervous but on the screen was the cutest little blob and its heart was fluttering away! I cried and my husband was thrilled, all that worry for nothing. The “bump” started to appear at 9/10 weeks and I was struggling to hide the pregnancy. We then told a few more close friends we were expecting baby number 2.

At 12 weeks pregnant I had the scan we were looking forward to: we could finally announce. After having a scan with Lachlan I knew what 12 week babies looked like on a scan but what I saw on the screen was not a 12 week baby. It was still. No movement. I could see its head, arms and legs but nothing moving. We were going through a missed miscarriage. We went through again to the EPU to discuss options.

I picked to go through the D&C route as passing the baby at home was quite traumatic for my husband and I. We also decided to send our baby away for genetic testing and to get baby cremated. Baby Poppy. The staff in Rubislaw couldn’t have been nicer, I was booked in for the Wednesday but I was unfortunately cancelled and rescheduled for the Thursday. In theatre they were all fantastic, before I went off to sleep I had a good crying. Coming into a maternity hospital pregnant and walking away not being pregnant and without a baby is the most awful thing I will ever experience. However I got to carry that baby for 12 weeks, I gave it so much love and a cosy home. Our little babies will all be together. MISS have been a great support and I enjoyed reading other women’s stories knowing that you aren’t alone. I was told by my midwife that there is no such thing as several false positives and that i had early miscarriages.

Lauren x

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